Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
