i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
This is the prime rib incident all over again
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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