Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
