im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
our cab driver is having phone sex.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
