I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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