i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I believe in your delicious
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