Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
