im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
