Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize