JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
