i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
you inspire me to be a worse person
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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