I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
