You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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