Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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