wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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