i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
