I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
