as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize