Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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