I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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