just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
