I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
