the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
