Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
