On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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