Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
