I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
