She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
