i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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