called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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