Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
