Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
