does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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