Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
