Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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