How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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