At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
