No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
