yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
