Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
