Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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