i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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