New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
