So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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