I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
