i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
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