is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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