I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
