he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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