Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
