And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
