Don't you send me to vm
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
God, I missed his penis.
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