The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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