im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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