I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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