remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
