You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just want to make out with him forever
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Randomize
