There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Randomize
