You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
