I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
