It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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