Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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