he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Randomize