How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
