He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
