Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
