I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
