Whod you bang
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
he thought i was a dude.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
