After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
